10 Valuable Steps to Become an Expert Communicator

Communication is everything!!! Learning to become an expert communicator is certainly valuable as our communication skills influence what happens in any work or life situation. 

 

I guess the question is if communication is so important then why don’t more people invest in learning how to do it well? Especially when you think about the disastrous consequences of poor communication and let’s face it, at some point we’ve all been on the receiving end of that! 

 

However, the benefits of investing in developing your communication skills are endless and certainly those who attend our NLP trainings reap the rewards. By spending the time in fine tuning their skills as well as learning how to use some effective and exciting new tools for communicating. All of which means they feel more productive, better understood and have a clearer path to understanding others. Plus they are more effective in team environments, enjoy productive meetings and accelerate their progress towards their chosen goals and outcomes.

 

To help you to become an expert communicator here are 10 valuable insights that you can use in your professional and personal life too.

 

We talk a lot in NLP about knowing what you want and having an outcome in mind. This is especially true when it comes to communication. The truth is that many people know what they don’t want, but not many people know what they do want. The kicker is that your communication is unconsciously driven by your focus. So if you focus on what you don’t want, then hey presto....that’s what you’ll get! 

So remember, your outcome will influence the flow of the conversation.

 

A lot has to be said for being grateful and showing appreciation. An expert communicator knows this, so before you get stuck into the details of what you want to say, express to the other party your appreciation for their time in meeting with you. Because the truth is you have both made an investment in getting together and that should be honored. After all, time is precious. You may also wish to thank the person for their contribution to a given project or piece of work they are engaged in, if you’ve in a business environment. Showing gratitude and giving positive feedback is a good way to start to build rapport, which we’ll talk about next.

 

Building rapport in key in your quest to becoming an expert communicator. Rapport is almost a magical state where information is accepted uncritically by the listener. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that people who are like each other, like each other. So what do you do to get into Rapport? From an NLP and Hypnosis point of view, what you want to do is match and mirror and what do you match and mirror? Physiology. The specific elements in Physiology include breathing, gestures, posture, voice...in fact everything. This is the most effective way to develop Rapport and something we study in detail at our NLP Practitioner training because it is so critical to your effectiveness as a communicator.

 

To keep things on track, you want to maintain a positive attitude during your communication. No one likes to be criticised and beaten with a stick! So use a constructive model for feedback and comments. Be encouraging and give praise. If you don’t then your communication could breakdown as the listener goes on the defensive which means that the interaction ceases to be productive.

 

How you use your voice and particularly the tone of your voice is very important in terms of how you are communicating. Matching the tone of the listeners voice allows you to establish rapport rapidly and you can maintain rapport through matching and mirroring of voice.

 Also understanding how to use your voice is essential for delivering imbedded commands and for tonal marking out key elements of your message.

 

Be respectful towards the other person and do not interrupt. When I started in sales years ago, I was told, you have 1 mouth and 2 ears for a reason and they should be used proportionately. Meaning you always listen first then speak. It was good advice back then and it still is now. To get anywhere you have to listen to what the other person is saying so you can build a picture of their perspective on a situation. Not make up what you think it should or could be. This is a valuable tool of an expert communicator.

 

Interestingly, you can not, not communicate! What does that mean? Well, you are constantly communicating (mostly unconsciously) through your Physiology. In fact they did a study back in the 1970’s that concluded that 80% of your communication comes from your Physiology. To be able to observe non- verbal cues, effectively, is something that we teach at our exciting NLP Practitioner training. This goes way beyond any body language course you could attend. The fact of the matter is that someone’s eye movements, their eye focus, gestures, their posture, their handshake, the tone of the skin on their face, the rate and location of their breathing all has meaning in a particular context. It’s  critical to successful communication to understand how to interpret these accurately.

 

Seek clarification on points that have been raised and ensure that all parties clearly understand what’s being said. We have an assumption in NLP that says; “The meaning of the communication is the response you get.” It’s saying that if YOU said something and the other person didn’t get it, it’s because of HOW YOU communicated it. So YOU need to find another way to say it. (You can’t blame the other person......it’s down to you!)

 

Ensure that agreement is reached on action points. Decide on and confirm end dates, assign responsibility, and accountability. If it’s necessary, also, record any agreements in a written format so they are formalised and clear.

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